Whoooo are you? Who, Who? Who, who? Ask those close to me – I like The Who! But who are YOU – really? Are you the person sitting here right now – or is there more to you? We often see ourselves as less than we really are.
I saw myself as being less than Lisa saw me as. I knew I needed to make changes in my life. I wasn’t content with where I was at within myself, so change was inevitable. Or not. It was my choice. I chose to change, and although that has meant doing stuff I’m not totally comfortable with, the benefits have been worth it.
I’ve had a number of different conversations over different weeks that have got me thinking a lot about self-improvement, change and achieving goals.
I was keen on developing EKO because it was based on “goal achievement”, helping people achieve their goals. I really love this concept. Throughout this process the words of Zig Ziglar would ring in my ears – “Achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals”. This is important, and has changed the emphasis somewhat of EKO. “What you become. Who you become”.
If you’re going to achieve your goals you have to do stuff. It is likely this stuff is going to mean effort, things you’re not comfortable doing. That meant big changes for me. Doing this stuff, like writing and talking about myself. Stuff I’m not comfortable doing. Changing.
If you find yourself in the same place you’ve always been in. And have looked at opportunities and said, “that sounds great, but it’s just not me”. Stop. Re-think. Don’t just fall back into the de facto “it’s not me”.
You’re where you are now because of the choices you’ve taken in the past. That is the first thing you must know, understand and believe this. Choices you made, whether consciously or unconsciously. Positively or reactively. No excuses. The choices you’ve taken, and the choices you’ve not taken. Not taken because it’s just not you.
All the change work I’ve done in the past is most rewarding when the people going through the change process come through and have grown. Their self-confidence, self-love, attitude toward life. That is what happens. “What you become”.
I had a wonderful opportunity to join Lisa at an event for one of the businesses she’s involved in. It was great to meet with the other people involved. How real and “normal and average” they were. How insecure and afraid they were before they started. How they weren’t sure “this was going to be me”. Lisa was the same. Very nervous and unsure. Both personally and what people would think of her. (Who cares what people think if the intent is right we both figured). We all know the feeling to some extent. It was fantastic to hear how overwhelmingly satisfied these people I conversed with now were. How they stepped through and became better people as a by-product of achieving some great personal goals. I was so impressed by them, because they went from “I’m not sure that is me” to positively changing their lives and how they saw themselves. Bloody fantastic. No it wasn’t outright easy for everyone. It took effort – but hey. They all expressed how great it had been for them as people. Remember Zig Ziglar.
Another thing to consider is this. Some of your most memorable moments in life will have come from doing something spontaneous. Moments that if you’d stopped to consider, you may not have done. Do something different. Outside of “you”. Something that would light you up if it wasn’t for those barriers.
All I can say is that opportunities don’t come wrapped in golden wrappers on a platter. The biggest ones are hidden beyond a shell of “that’s just not me”. I know that from experience. Who knows what I might be now if I’d embraced some of the challenges that came my way – but was too scared to take, or rather where I said “nah, they’re just not me, and anyway things aren’t right at the moment – I’ve got too many other things to sort out. I’m waaaay too busy to even think”.
Is what you’re busy doing getting you closer to your goals?
You can say that’s not me to an opportunity, and wait for an opportunity that sounds just like you – and you end up in the same place. Same old, same old. That was me for a long time – new opportunity, but really just the same in a different wrapper. Or you can say. That sounds good. I’m not comfortable (perfect!), but will give that a go. The chances are that you’ll grow into someone awesome – and you’ll look back and say of the old you – “that wasn’t me. That was a scared, insecure, me in a shell”.
You see – “That’s just not me” is often just fear talking. Fear keeps you safe, yes. It doesn’t help you become who you could be, or achieve your goals though.
Whooo are you? Would love to hear from you in the comments.