In Part One of this article on letting go of relationships that are not working for you, and holding you back, we looked at why you need to let go in order to be your very best. In this second, and final part, I will look a little more inwardly at my journey, and what I did.
I believe relationships are opportunities to enrich each other’s lives. If they don’t, what is the purpose. I felt so closed in, and needing to protect myself against the negativity of the relationship. There was nothing more I could give of myself to make the relationship as meaningful as I wanted. I sought counsel from many people.
Ultimately I’ve made the choice and acted, with as much love and compassion as I can.
Cut out the crap. Don’t be nasty. Act with compassion. But value yourself. Have courage. Make the right choice and act. If you have such a relationship – you must change. You can’t travel down new paths when you’ve got people who only know where you’ve always been – and may even want to keep you there. Push your buttons. Even, say the things you may want to hear to keep you from moving. No situation is permanent. Cut the ties. Let go. Once you do – believe me you’ll feel so much better. Your head will clear and new possibilities will open up. I know it is difficult to see that sometimes – just please trust me.
For me, how did I do it? A physical detachment. That was necessary, but not overly difficult – life is so busy there is ALWAYS a reason you can’t meet someone. I was busy, and stayed away. If the relationship was a nurturing one I would obviously prioritise time to meet. Easy.
The really big part for me was flicking the switch off in my head – or more correctly dialling down the volume my head was confronting me with, regarding feelings of guilt and how I should try harder. In the end it was simply an acceptance of my reality; detachment; letting go emotionally. And you know what – it is so amazing when you cut out negative stuff from your life. You grow your positive relationships and switch your thinking to how much more you’re growing, how much better you feel, how much better you see things, and how your circle of positive influence grows and gets stronger. Your head clears and you’ve got this new freedom, and space in your head for the good stuff. It truly is outstanding.
Whether it is relationships in your personal, social, family, work environments – they’re all important.
Why is it so important to remove yourself from these relationships? Negative comments, energy, environments (toxins) will drag you back, keep you down, stop you in your tracks. It may be the smallest things that will niggle at you, affect you. It may slow you a little or a lot – it will affect you badly. Life is hard enough with people making it harder for you – either deliberately trying to keep you down at their level, or because they genuinely don’t understand. You need as much positive stuff and as little negative stuff as possible. Be strong early. I wish I was. I’d be so much further ahead than I am now.
It wasn’t as though it was constantly negative. That would have been easier. Black and white. But it was negative enough to finally make the choice I made. Eventually you know the time is right – but I left it too long. Hope, I guess.
You should try harder! Unconditional love! Well I’ve considered all this. It wasn’t easy.
I place no conditions on my love – however, I value myself enough to know what love is for me. And I will not accept certain things. I choose to make my life rich, and be the best I can be – and relationships are vital.
“At some point, you have to realise that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.”
I’m in a great place now. From making tough decisions with some courage I’m getting stronger.
“One of the happiest moments ever is when you feel the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” – Unknown
I’ve got a lot more work to do on this. Maybe together we can travel this part of our journey together.
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All the best,