Want to hear a specific example of courage? Well one that I think took some. One that results in healthy love and compassion for yourself, and making a choice between trying to be the best you can be in an environment of negative energy, or changing things to remove the negative element. Well you’ve come to the right place. The reason I say example of courage is two-fold. One: the decisions I went through. Two: writing about it. I’m going to be writing about “personal relationships”. Why is writing about personal relationships courageous? Let me explain.
EKO is about supporting people to be the best they can be. I was in the street the other day and affronted by someone babbling illogical sentiments, and saying “you and your website – what gives you the right to talk about personal relationships”. Apparently I need help because I have an opinion. I knew that sticking my head up would bring the critics in – the people unable to view and accept other people’s opinion screaming to our door. Guess what – we’re sorry you feel that way. Let me explain what gives me the right – being alive and having experienced good and less good relationships. All the best in your life. Now onto the story – Letting go.
Do you ever meet with people and come away feeling drained, anxious or asking yourself what the hell was that about (a bit like the person I just mentioned), why did I even see them? Well that’s where I was at with some significant people in my life, and it was having a negative impact on me. I thought I was strong enough to charge on without it affecting me. It wasn’t as though I was in constant contact with them. I would meet out of obligation, trying to share some love, and bring some positivity to the relationships. I badly wanted them to work. Whether you have relationships like this in your personal, work, social or family life, it is really tough to move forward positively.
I’ve taken a decision (I’ve spoken about being a product of your choices) to distance myself from the relationships. People I’ve known my whole life. Significant. You might be saying it’s easy to do this. Well the relationships were too close for that (not my children thankfully – they’re awesome). But the people are close – very close.
The relationships were not helping me – in fact they were hurting me and holding me back, and even made me feel quite ill at times.
“Until you let go of ALL the toxic people in your life you will NEVER be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.” – Anonymous
Relationships help or hinder you
I’ve been working to grow. Improve myself. And every time I engage in a relationship that is less than positive – toxic – I am held back, even set back. I’ve tried doing both – but it just doesn’t work. My head, heart, everything gets too messed up.
How was it affecting me? Well, EKO is my dream. “Help people to help people be their greatest.” I could not get this moving properly because of it. Wow! That is a big deal. I didn’t realise at first. It didn’t consciously stop me – it affected my subconscious, my environment, my feelings – all vital ingredients to EKO’s success. I felt I couldn’t express myself, share my true feelings, be MYSELF. Barriers. Protection.
If you’re in a similar situation it’ll be affecting you. More than you think.
Nothing positive comes from it. Why continue? I’ve asked myself many times over the years “what the hell is going on”, and yet I would regroup, draw a line in the sand, and try and express the love I was seeking from the relationship.
Believe me this was not an easy choice. I now choose positivity. I value myself too much these days to allow myself to live with toxic relationships. Let’s face it, toxins of any sort poison us. There are impurities in our food and the air that are believed to cause all sorts of ailments and disease. We must get rid of the toxin to be well. What about the toxins that enter your mind through the negative energy of toxic relationships? We need our brain to be fed positively, like a garden needs to be fed positively – to grow flowers, not weeds.
“A single toxic drop of negativity harms the soul more than a bucket of positivity” – Mike Overwater
Positive relationships are vital for your health and growth.
I’ve always known that, however there are certain relationships that you think you must maintain out of duty or obligation – even when you know they’re doing you no good. If you’re no good inside yourself – nothing is any good. It came to that for me. Yes I’ve struggled with the decision – but deep down I know it is right. It feels right. And better still, the other significant people in my life are all saying how much better I am. You see, it is worth it. Believe me.
Gone are the nights wasted lying in bed tossing and turning about how to make it right (at least most of the nights). I can’t make it right. There’s nothing I can do. Thankfully more of my energy is expended on positive things and nurturing and being nurtured by healthy relationships. It feels so much better. Am I saddened by the loss? Yes. Very.
“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.” – Buddha
Believe me – there is nothing you MUST do in life. In YOUR life. How can you be the best you when you’re in a negative world with toxic relationships? It is too big a burden to move forward with.
In the next article I will continue to explore letting go, the value of positive relationships, and my personal journey in this dimension of my life. I hope you’ll join me.
Thanks again for subscribing and investing time in reading this – my hope is that it will achieve our goal of supporting you to grow into the best “you”. If there is anything you would like written about, please let me know. If there is anything you would like support on or to discuss, please go to our blog and forum pages. As always, if you believe this was of value, please share it with those who you feel will get value from it.
All the best,