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Community that cares

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Last year I had the privilege of working with a fantastic Coach, James Marris, and I’m still working through all the fantastic concepts he introduced me to. One of them was Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (see the image here), and I must say – I am a fan.

How I understand Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs runs something like this: Abraham Maslow proposed his theory in 1943, based on the learnings and ideas of other leaders in the field of psychology. He put the needs of what makes us happy, well developed people into a hierarchal order. He proposed that we need to fulfil each ‘level’ before moving up to the next one (there is some flexibility here) for development of each person’s self-actualisation. I ‘get it’ much better by looking at in a picture.

It’s a brilliant tool for use in motivation, personal development, I’m even thinking of doing a fashion one.

There are lots of versions you can find online, I’ve been using it to help me answer some sticky personal difficulties and uncomfortable feelings, so that I can become unstuck and move forward.

“By looking at what bits of the pyramid I do have ‘filled in’ then looking at what gaps I have to fill, I can move.”

So Esteem has become a focus, and I’ve got a bit unstuck with Acknowledgement. It wasn’t part of my childhood and is not part of my adult relationship with my parents either. I have had some quite destructive professional and personal relationships based around lack of recognition also, bit of a pattern emerging. So close friends and my husband say to me ‘But you know you did it… that should be enough’; ‘Your ego doesn’t need to be involved’; ‘We love, appreciate you. You realise that you are talented etc…’ Then that deep down a part of you just dies because they just don’t get it.

You want the greater recognition. Just to be recognised once and for all for what you have contributed. Reading more about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs puts that (need) into perspective.

So what does that mean for me? I don’t want a community of cheerleaders, but I do want a community of people who actually appreciate me and acknowledge it, so that goes on the wish list. Telling people I need acknowledgment for my work, and hopefully they’ll be along for the ride. If not – phase three; ditching people who don’t appreciate me. Untangling them from my life may take some work but I’m worth that recognition. For me people who give you acknowledgement and recognition for what you do show, and are showing, they care. For me this will be my way of building a community that cares.

How is your journey of recognition going? I’d love to know.

Be formidable,

Ciane

  • Ciane St'Eve

Ciane St’Eve started in the fashion industry at the tender age of 12, selling garments in a designer boutique and tinting lashes and eyebrows. Fast-forward 32 years and many awards and accolades later she is still smitten with the fashion industry, unfortunately the industry doesn’t love her (an older woman) as much. With an aim to turn that around and empower all women to naturally grow into an age of Formidable Style© she is sharing her ageing journey publically, along with contributions from stunning women who have matured to the next level and have attained Formidable Style© for themselves.


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