I don’t know what you’ve experienced or been through in your life, so I can’t say how easy or hard this will be for you. All I know is that the past is gone. Done! What is important is what you intend to do from here. In my experience, some of the things that I really struggled with and that challenged me, and brought me down, have made me stronger today. I’m here now. I got through. Were they blessings in disguise? I don’t know. You’re here. You got through. You’re in the ideal position to accept yourself as the beautiful, flawed and imperfect person you are and choose what you want from here. What do you intend to do?
“I myself am made entirely of flaws. Stitched together with good intentions.” – Anonymous
Okay, because change is a process you’re not going to be going – “Oh Mike’s right, I’ll be more self-accepting”. There, done! We all know it doesn’t work like that. You can understand something at an intellectual level, but it takes more than that to really get it, really feel and understand it. It takes time. It takes a leap of faith – courage, as well as perseverance. Steps you must go through. And more than that, it takes conscious thinking. Hopefully I’ll be planting a seed which will germinate as you feed it positive thoughts and actions. I’m hoping you will be digesting this, looking for more information, talking to people, considering what to do and how to do it, trying things, possibly over a long period. All the time you will be moving, and things will be getting better, you will become more accepting.
Even if you don’t know where you want to be, you intuitively, at a gut level know what is right and what isn’t for you. So you know when you get a thought into your head, whether it is positive or negative, and helpful or not. And you know roughly which way you want to go. I know now from experience that we all at times don’t do what we should because we’re scared. Afraid. We want to feel safe. I feel better being safe. Stop that! See how the thinking draws you in. Negative thoughts. Is that getting you where you want to be? Dismiss them.
Your first step on your self-acceptance journey, and it is a journey, is a choice, an intention, about how you will feel about yourself. It always starts with a choice. Make a commitment to how you want to be. That you will accept yourself. It is your choice.
I can say I’m becoming more self-accepting. I was at a point on the self-acceptance scale, and I’ve moved positively along it. I can’t measure where I was or where I’ve moved to relative to anyone else. It is not about comparing myself with where someone else is at. It is not something that people will possibly see. It is about how I feel. Yes, there are things I want to achieve inside myself, however I am accepting of where I am now, and this helps me calm my mind.
All the things I’ve mentioned before about self-doubt stop you in your tracks. You can’t stop the negative thinking coming into your head, but there are techniques to manage them – “Is this thinking helping me get to where I want to be?” Now I guess you’ll be saying – “So for this to work I will need to at least have some idea of where I want to be.” You’re sort of right.
The part I got confused about was this. Accept yourself as you are. I don’t care where you’re at – you’re your perfect you exactly as you are right now. Flaws and imperfections make you your perfect original you. You may be saying “I’m too … old, young, black, white, grey, fat, thin, big, small, poor, stupid, hurt, broken, lost, stuck, angry, whatever …. (OK, if you believe you’re all these things there might be an issue). You’re your perfect you right now. Accept that. However, you want to be somewhere else. You want to be better. I used to think that if this is the case I’m not accepting myself as I am. I have an issue. Well, what I’ve discovered is this, and I’m not 100% certain how this works, and I haven’t read anything on this, however – the mind isn’t like the physical world, much like quantum physics does not behave like normal world physics.
Your mind can be accepting of you exactly as you are, and also be where you want to be – in the same instance.
I know this all may sound over-simplified, however self-acceptance is a starting point. It is so difficult to move from where you’re at without accepting yourself and where you’re at right now.
It is our hope you will accept this, accept yourself, and that Eko can support you achieve that. It is why we’ve put our services together the way we have. We want to take you through the process of understanding where you’re at and your desired intentions for the future. Our purpose is for you.
Let me know your intentions in the comments below – once you pen them, they’re out there!
Until next time,