What will it take for you to stop and have a look at what’s happening in your life? To ask yourself the really hard questions, to question everything that’s going on in your life today. To check in to see where you want to do better, how, and why. And why would you do that?
We know that happiness in an inside job, yet what does it really mean and do you really get how to get it?
It isn’t as simple as chasing happiness and ‘catching’ it by starting a new job because it’s better pay, changing a relationship because the other one got too hard, buying a pair of sparkly, killer-painful shoes because the dress that you’ll wear only once needs them. Unless you create the time and space to stop and question how doing that thing will make your life truer and better (or worse) in the long-term, you could end up with nothing more than blisters, painful memories, and a cupboard full of once-worn shoes. And you might even do it again. And again.
My thinking was sparked when I heard a radio show today where a very successful guy, who did amazing stuff and achieved many big-deal-kind-of accolades all in the same year, was no happier for his success. He wasn’t enjoying life, didn’t feel like getting up and doing stuff, although he did. He was really unhappy. Because he focused on the wrong things and ignored some areas in his life he eventually found himself unsatisfied and with depression (I call it overwhelm of the human experience). During his two-year recovery he spent painful time with himself and questioned EVERYTHING in his life. He got down, dirty and personal with himself and realised there was a bunch of stuff he needed to change about how he went about his life. He looked at how he behaved, how he spoke to others, why some people thought he was a dick and realised there was much he did not like. Then he made a plan and started changing, which he did in six months. As he made changes he knew he was becoming a better person, and that made him happy, and happier. He said that people who hadn’t been in his life in the last two years didn’t really know him. It is only now that he is his true self. The real him. Only those who are in his life now know who he is.
Do you see? He only became happier when he allowed himself to be himself. To get to that place he examined everything going on in his life. I made the connection for myself that only when I too was breaking through my period of overwhelm/depression, asking the hard questions of myself, was I able to know what to do to make life better for myself. In the process I pushed through changes, worked hard on getting what I really wanted in my life and I still do the same. It’s constant, continuous improvement. Has to be if I want to grow better and better, more fulfilled and happy.
It seems to me than often the catalyst for major change comes from a major life event – like being unwell, surviving trauma and challenging experiences. But what if you haven’t had any of these events to catalyse change? Because even those who have no major negative experiences in life can, of course, find themselves living an unhappy life.
So, here’s the thing. If you know you are unhappy – life will not change until you change it. To change your life you must change yourself. To do that you must know yourself.
And don’t assume because you’re unhappy that that’s okay – that that’s life. It is not. Yes, there will always be periods in even the happiest of lives where sadness and challenge will arrive. For all sorts of reasons. It does not mean that you cannot return to a place of happiness. True fulfilment with life, and all that it brings – good and not so, that buying another pair of unsuitable shoes will not give you.
Don’t look outside, look within. Your happiness starts and ends there. True. That’s why we’ve dedicated our time to creating a business and tools, inside ekoyou.com, that show you a way to work through a process to get up close and personal with yourself, and ask the hard questions. And with support the whole way through. I’m not as much touting our wares here, as sharing clarity on how important it is to know yourself and that the way to do that is to take yourself through a process. Whether ours or something else. And get support. Support is crucial to making the changes (you might like our latest free ebook to look more at Change and how to make it happen in your life).
What questions do you need to ask yourself? Can you be honest enough to start your journey into a truer, happier you today? Let me know
With love and no room for more shoes,